Why Shouldn't I Call My Son Clint?

David Hocking

Using secret sounds of names as a predictor of personality

Like a tiny piece of personalised music, each of us has a name that, like all sounds, evokes some small and subconscious response from those we meet. This collective reaction, over the years of our existence, can gently trickle down and influence whom we become. This book is a must-read if you are faced with one of the following scenarios.....

1. You’ve either fallen pregnant – or knocked-up your girlfriend – and are trying desperately to arrive at a baby name that won’t destroy the child’s life.

2. You work with an idiot and you wonder how they became an idiot.

3. Your parents didn’t have access to this book and they mysteriously called you Nigel, Colleen, Sharon or Kingston. And you wonder why people seem to treat you differently.

 

Radio interview with ABC Radio's Geraldine Mellett

 

THE STORY SO FAR....

Seven years ago, Hocking visited a friend for coffee and from out of the blue - and with an excited smile on her face from something that happened the night before - she asked him, “So what do you think of the name Murray?”

Continuing the joke, David ran the name through his head a few times and a picture suddenly appeared in his mind. And thus, the first name theory was born.....

Murray:
The name given to the phenomenon of dropping a bucket that is half-filled with mud. After it hits the ground most of it slops straight up and hits you in the face as you stand there. “Oh Murray!” you cry. He’s tolerated in the country, indeed he’s very funny, but city folk just don’t understand him.

The joke then grew from Murray to Patrick, to Andrew, to Malcolm, and spread to hundreds of names, because it was funny - and because it often seemed to be uncannily true. After a time, Hocking realized that names are just like miniature star signs.....and now there’s a guide with around 2000 names on the list. Here are some examples.....

Kylie: The Dignified Bogan.

Jake: Jake has more pornography in his bedroom than any other male. He was once caught masturbating by his mother who burst into his room to find him standing over an upturned TV with his trousers around his ankles and with Jake the Snake in his hand. He didn’t return to the house for days and, yes, he did eventually move out. He now wears a flannel shirt.

Jodie: The gorgeous looking feral cat who is dangerous only when cornered or un-fed.

Ken: Ken rhymes with brick.

Libby: Bipolar. Be careful.

Hunter: Delusional.

Natalie: The Swiss Army knife that’s ready to stab, cut, unscrew, slice, grip, open, scale, magnify and abrade anything that needs it. Unfortunately, she has so many functions that she sometimes forgets what to use when. The last time I saw her she was trying to cut through a wire fence with a screwdriver.

.....but it’s not all bad, and this is but the tip of the iceberg

 

 

 

Click here to read about David's second release, 'The Shark that Ate Tommy Shoalhaven'.